I am modelling a lovely attractive patchwork effect at the moment. My face is grey, and the skin under my eyes is dry and scaly. My jawline is spotted with erm, well, spots, and my chin is a mass of blackheads. So desperate am I to find a solution, I've resorted to buying some of that clear skin face scrub stuff advertised by Vanessa 'High School Musical' Hudgens. The clue is in the name, high school, I'm not 16 any more! It's made not a jot of difference to the blackheads, despite my liberal slathering and rubbing every morning and evening, but the cheek scales are now more flaky.
The joy doesn't stop on my face. I made the mistake of wearing leggings yesterday (in a 'with boots under a dress' way, rather than a 'Stretford Arndale Centre 1990' way, honest) and only noticed the 'calf dandruff' when I went to put them in the washer last night. Yes, the dry skin has spread and I'm now coming away in layers. I don't know whether to be distressed, or pleased that if this continues at a rate of one dermal layer a day for 200 years or so, my calves would be thin enough to wear knee-length summer skirts.
I have to admit to being a bit behind the times when it comes to lotions and potions. My approach to beautifying myself is minimal. I (shhhhhhhh) don't even wear moisturiser. I've not worn make-up this year, a fact which says as much about my social life as it does about my cosmetic skills. This isn't because, as some people assume, I consider myself above such improvements, the very epitome of yummy mummyness, it's because I don't really have a clue. Oh, and I don't have much cash either.
So if anyone could recommend a magic undrying yet degreasing face cream and something to make my legs look human again, I'd very much appreciate it.