Monday, 10 May 2010

Greater Good

My husband moved out tonight.

It's day one of the New Normal, a sort of half-life that we flail in whilst we tie up the ends in Manchester and make a move down the M6 to the Midlands. A house that wont sell and one, soon to be two, children needing childcare means we're not able to just pick up and leave here, but nor will my husband's new job wait, so for now he goes and we stay.

The goodbye was perfunctory, after all he'll be back on Friday. I'm not unused to him staying away overnight, I can watch what I want on the telly and not have to worry about cooking a veggie option at dinnertime, but tonight with the house quiet it just feels different.

This is the start of a big change. We've known it was coming but now, with a weeks worth of suits packed and on their way to his home for the next week, it's really happening. Soon it will be our turn to go, and we wont be coming back at the weekend.

My children deserve an energetic father, one who isn't constantly exhausted from long and antisocial shifts and can enjoy his time off rather than existing in a constant state of jet-lag. I am looking forward to meeting my new husband, a man who can stay up past 10 pm and doesn't need a daytime nap. I know we will be happy in our new life, in the village we have chosen for its schools, parks and commutability. It's not even too far to come back and visit. The positives are stacked in the corner in a great big pile.

But tonight my heart breaks a little at the thought we will never again live as a family of four in this, the house we were married in, to where we brought home our tiny firstborn, where our daughter was conceived and born where we became the family that now stands on the edge of a change that's exciting and terrifying in equal measure.

4 comments:

1 husband, 2 kids (and lots of books) said...

I hope it all goes well for you. I'm sure it will... we made the reverse move up to Manchester a year ago. Admittedly we had lived in Milton Keynes for the last 10 years which made leaving a little bit easier, but joking aside we, like you, had a long list of reasons why it was the right thing to do, and like you, felt extremely emotional as we teetered on the brink of the move. Sometimes a change brings a new lease of life and forces you to make all sorts of positive steps... I hope it does for you all.

TheMadHouse said...

Fingers crossed that everything moves smoothly for you. I am not sure I could manage without MadDad he is my rock

Laura McIntyre said...

I hope it all goes well, moving is scary and not much fun. Neither is being apart , my husband is working overseas for a few months and it horrible.
Thinking of you all

Muddling Along Mummy said...

I hope the move goes ok - yes its for all the right reasons but its still tough to leave things behind

That said, enjoy having a more energised Mr B